Here you can find lists of the most popular and the least popular quotes. An overall-ranking is included, as well as a recent-ranking (according to recent votes).

Recently
MOST Popular recently
1. Quote:
Jesus says to John come forth, I'll give you eternal life. John came fifth. he won a toaster.
2. Quote:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
3. Quote:
Never have more children than you have car windows.
4. Quote:
This one guy said "look at that girl's butt! She has a nice butt." I said "yeah, I bet she can sit down excellently."
5. Annoy people:
Randomly go up to a person and ask them "have you seen the cops" while panting frantically.
6. Quote:
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
7. Quote:
Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
8. Quote:
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
9. Quote:
On a tombstone: "I told you I was sick!"
10. Quote:
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
11. Quote:
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
12. Quote:
99% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
13. Quote:
I got an ant farm... them fellas didn't grow shit!
14. Quote:
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
15. Quote:
I had a vision from the Dalai Lama, he said that if I didn't kill 4 people there would be an earthquake.
- Sheriff: "What earthquake?"
- Exactly.
16. Quote:
Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes!
17. Quote:
I've told you a million times: don't exaggerate!
18. Quote:
Giving up smoking is easy... I've done it hundreds of times.
19. Quote:
On your mark. Get set. Go away!
20. Quote:
I like undressing women with my eyes, although I just can't quite figure out how to unstrap their bras with my eyelids.
LEAST Popular recently
1. Quote:
In life, do what you can. Don't can it on whatever you do.
2. Quote:
When nothing is interesting, I take interest in nothing.
3. Quote:
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continu. (23545476817 for instance...)
4. Quote:
Behind every woman there is an ill-fated man.
5. Pick-up line:
Can I see your tan lines?
6. Quote:
I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops.
7. Quote:
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.
8. Pick-up line:
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
9. Quote:
I was going to procrastinate. But I decided to leave it till later.
10. You have a drinking problem when:
You spend all your money on filling your pool with beer.
11. Quote:
My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.
12. Pick-up line:
I was never any good at algebra... but I'm pretty sure that U + I = 69
13. Quote:
The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again.
14. Quote:
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. Pick-up line:
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
16. Quote:
You say psycho like it's a bad thing.
17. Quote:
He who angers you, gets beat up!
18. Quote:
The internet is a great way to get on the net.
19. Pick-up line:
Where have you been all my life?
20. Quote:
I'm going to live life or die trying.
Overall
MOST Popular overall
1. Quote:
Jesus says to John come forth, I'll give you eternal life. John came fifth. he won a toaster.
2. Quote:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
3. Quote:
This one guy said "look at that girl's butt! She has a nice butt." I said "yeah, I bet she can sit down excellently."
4. Quote:
Never have more children than you have car windows.
5. Quote:
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
6. Annoy people:
Randomly go up to a person and ask them "have you seen the cops" while panting frantically.
7. Quote:
On your mark. Get set. Go away!
8. Quote:
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
9. Quote:
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
10. Quote:
My girlfiend said to me in bed last night: "you're a pervert". I said, "that's a big word for a girl of nine".
11. Quote:
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
12. Quote:
I consider conversations with people to be mind exercizes. But I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.
13. Quote:
I've told you a million times: don't exaggerate!
14. Quote:
Giving up smoking is easy... I've done it hundreds of times.
15. Quote:
99% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
16. Quote:
I got an ant farm... them fellas didn't grow shit!
17. Quote:
I called the hotel operator, she said "how can I direct your call?" Well, you could say "action!" And I will begin to dial. And then when I say goodbye, you could yell "cut!"
18. Quote:
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
19. Quote:
I like undressing women with my eyes, although I just can't quite figure out how to unstrap their bras with my eyelids.
20. Quote:
On a tombstone: "I told you I was sick!"
LEAST Popular overall
1. Quote:
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continu. (23545476817 for instance...)
2. Quote:
When nothing is interesting, I take interest in nothing.
3. Quote:
In life, do what you can. Don't can it on whatever you do.
4. Quote:
Behind every woman there is an ill-fated man.
5. Quote:
I was going to procrastinate. But I decided to leave it till later.
6. Pick-up line:
Can I see your tan lines?
7. Quote:
He who angers you, gets beat up!
8. Quote:
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.
9. You have a drinking problem when:
You spend all your money on filling your pool with beer.
10. Quote:
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
11. Quote:
A good sportsman can never be a god sport.
12. Pick-up line:
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
13. Quote:
My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.
14. Quote:
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
15. Annoy people:
Go to a store and fill up like 3 or 4 shopping carts with random stuff when the cashier gives you the total say "oops I forgot my money".
16. Pick-up line:
If you were a screen door I'd slam you all night long!
17. Quote:
You say psycho like it's a bad thing.
18. Quote:
I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops.
19. Quote:
The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again.
20. Quote:
OK, so what's the speed of dark?