Here you can find lists of the most popular and the least popular quotes. An overall-ranking is included, as well as a recent-ranking (according to recent votes).

Recently
MOST Popular recently
1. Quote:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
2. Quote:
Jesus says to John come forth, I'll give you eternal life. John came fifth. he won a toaster.
3. Quote:
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
4. Quote:
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
5. Quote:
My girlfiend said to me in bed last night: "you're a pervert". I said, "that's a big word for a girl of nine".
6. Quote:
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
7. Quote:
Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes!
8. Quote:
I've told you a million times: don't exaggerate!
9. Quote:
Giving up smoking is easy... I've done it hundreds of times.
10. Quote:
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
11. Quote:
Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
12. Quote:
I like undressing women with my eyes, although I just can't quite figure out how to unstrap their bras with my eyelids.
13. Quote:
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
14. Quote:
Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
15. Quote:
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
16. Quote:
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
17. Quote:
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
18. Quote:
On your mark. Get set. Go away!
19. Quote:
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
20. Quote:
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months -- I don't like to interrupt her.
LEAST Popular recently
1. Quote:
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continu. (23545476817 for instance...)
2. Annoy people:
Find a uniform to a place you don't work at and pretend to quit and talk shit about the store.
3. Quote:
In life, do what you can. Don't can it on whatever you do.
4. Quote:
Behind every woman there is an ill-fated man.
5. Quote:
I'm going to live life or die trying.
6. Quote:
He who angers you, gets beat up!
7. Quote:
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
8. Quote:
No pain, no pain.
9. Quote:
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
10. Quote:
They say we use only 10% of our brain. Just think if we used the other 60%!
11. Quote:
My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.
12. Pick-up line:
I was never any good at algebra... but I'm pretty sure that U + I = 69
13. Pick-up line:
Can I see your tan lines?
14. Quote:
And now - excuse me while I interrupt myself - ...
15. Pick-up line:
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
16. Quote:
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
17. Quote:
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
18. Quote:
Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence.
19. Quote:
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.
20. Quote:
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
Overall
MOST Popular overall
1. Quote:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
2. Quote:
Jesus says to John come forth, I'll give you eternal life. John came fifth. he won a toaster.
3. Quote:
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
4. Quote:
My girlfiend said to me in bed last night: "you're a pervert". I said, "that's a big word for a girl of nine".
5. Quote:
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
6. Quote:
I consider conversations with people to be mind exercizes. But I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.
7. Quote:
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
8. Quote:
On your mark. Get set. Go away!
9. Quote:
I've told you a million times: don't exaggerate!
10. Quote:
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
11. Quote:
Giving up smoking is easy... I've done it hundreds of times.
12. Quote:
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
13. Quote:
I like undressing women with my eyes, although I just can't quite figure out how to unstrap their bras with my eyelids.
14. Quote:
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
15. Quote:
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
16. Quote:
Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
17. Quote:
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
18. Quote:
Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes!
19. Quote:
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
20. Quote:
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
LEAST Popular overall
1. Annoy people:
Find a uniform to a place you don't work at and pretend to quit and talk shit about the store.
2. Quote:
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continu. (23545476817 for instance...)
3. Quote:
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
4. Quote:
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
5. Quote:
He who angers you, gets beat up!
6. Quote:
Behind every woman there is an ill-fated man.
7. Quote:
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
8. Pick-up line:
Can I see your tan lines?
9. Quote:
In life, do what you can. Don't can it on whatever you do.
10. Pick-up line:
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
11. Quote:
I was going to procrastinate. But I decided to leave it till later.
12. Quote:
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.
13. You have a drinking problem when:
You wake up with a traffic cone between your legs.
14. Quote:
A good sportsman can never be a god sport.
15. You have a drinking problem when:
The glass keeps missing your mouth.
16. Quote:
My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.
17. You have a drinking problem when:
You spend all your money on filling your pool with beer.
18. Annoy people:
Go to a store and fill up like 3 or 4 shopping carts with random stuff when the cashier gives you the total say "oops I forgot my money".
19. Quote:
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
20. Quote:
OK, so what's the speed of dark?